An Emerging Trend
There is an alarming trend sweeping the nation. Laziness. I personally have a problem with this because it implies that someone else is responsible for carrying you. Our children are being sent into the world with entitlement and no work ethic. The most prominent reason this happens - parents allow it. Parents, you are doing your child a huge injustice and creating a problem for the world. We don't need more problems. So, while you fill your bucket of self worth because someone "needs" you, your child has become a menace to society. Get a grip!
These are things your teen should be doing before they leave your nest:
- Working a job. They should be supporting at minimum their spending money. If no job, no spending money.
- Budgeting. They should know how to manage money, pay bills and be required to do so. "Not, where is the card?" "Put some money in my account." or "Give me some money!" When they can't manage their money, natural consequences should result. If I don't pay, my services stop. The same rule applies to your child.
- Cleaning up their own mess. No one should have to go behind them and pick up a mess. If you do have to pick up a mess, they lose their "stuff" (that you purchased and they don't own).
- Getting to their appointments without your reminders. If they don't need reminders to go out on Friday night, they can manage it without you. Let them fail so they learn.
- Taking care of their responsibilities. If they have a car, they should wash it and maintain it. If they have an animal, they should care for it. If they don't, they don't get to keep car/animal.
- Doing their daily chores. They need to know how to do their laundry, cook, clean. If they don't, they are dirty, hungry and living elsewhere.
- Be respectful. It is NOT appropriate to be disrespectful - EVER. If you pay the bills, they are required to respect you or find a new home. Rolling of the eyes, sighing, back talk and disobeying are clear signs of disrespect. If they disrespect you, trust me, they don't respect themselves either. This usually results in crimes against others.
In summary, your job as a parent is to PARENT. This means you must be the bad guy at times. You must be a role model. You must say NO when that is the right answer. It is not your job to make your child happy. In fact, if they are happy, chances are you are doing it wrong. Your child should be able to live independent of you while being a productive citizen.
