I use stories to help people relate in therapy. My children are often the center of these stories because I know them and their unique needs. I raised them. These stories happen because of my core beliefs. These beliefs came mostly from my mother. I learned almost everything I know from her. Many of these beliefs changed as I grew into my own. Some of her beliefs didn’t belong in my life so I modified them or left them behind.
I would have to say the most important lessons were the hard ones. My mother spent countless hours teaching me to take pride in our space. I remember having to “go back and do it right” many times when I was young because of my lack of internal drive. Once I learned though, I applied it to every aspect of my life. This gave me an edge and strengthened my internal belief in self. When you learn this, there is no competition, no stress, no conflict - and this feeds your soul. My mother built my internal locus of control - “If it is to be, it is up to me.”
Recently, I have recognized that many young people struggle to “do it right the first time” and while most of that learning just comes from maturity - some of it comes from knowing how and even more comes from motivation. I am a mother, teacher, model and coach. I will be working everyday to teach young people how to fill their soul with richness. The richness that comes from being the best at everything you do is worth learning. My mother once said, “If you need to be a toilet cleaner - be the best damn toilet cleaner out there. Do it so well that no one can doubt your work and that, is yours forever.” So, it is. It’s worth every step, every conversation, every example so they too can become their best at what they are doing right now and learn how to apply this to every aspect of their life. This will allow them to create a life, full of richness and integrity.
