"Anger Management"

When I get a referral, there is typically a goal in mind.  Some say, "He needs anger management" or " She is depressed".   I know, of course, that that is typically just a guess so, I go to work.  I am an investigator of sorts.  I ask a lot of questions and gather information and attempt to find the pieces that match and complete the puzzle.  I am actually quite good at helping others to identify, sort, learn, practice and solve most problems but...

My entire life's work has been helping people manage something - usually emotion.  But, here is a secret (kind of) - I suck at managing my own emotions sometimes.  Why?  I wonder sometimes too - but it is because I don't do one of these things:  1) pause and plan or 2) remove myself from the emotion by putting myself outside of it (go to the paper).  My face usually does some messed up expression that says it all and when someone responds I either become defensive (natural response when you feel you have lost power) or agitated (because beating myself up is a habit).  Both of these responses keep me in the emotional state and make it grow- more icky.  If I would just learn to STOP and practice what I preach.  Well, at least I can admit my shortcomings and I can usually laugh long after it's over and I have reflected (which I try to do often) provided someone doesn't say, "Calm down" or laugh at me before my reflection time.