All Behavior is Purposeful

I love what I do.  I had the pleasure of seeing a very angry 14 year old yesterday.  He is angry for good reason - his parents use drugs and he has been in foster care since age 6.  He is mad because he just wants to be normal.  He wants a family - his family.  He wants to be enough of a reason for the adults in his life to do what needs to be done to take care of him.  Seems simple.

So, he enters my office mad at everyone - including me - because I "ask too many questions".  So, he yells, says really mean stuff, curses , rolls his eyes and he thinks it's working.  And then I say, "You just don't know it yet, but I am going to be one of your favorite people."  He proceeds to roll his eyes, sigh loudly and say "what ev".  I respond by saying, "I can teach you how to roll your eyes way better and since you are gonna be fussy every week, could you at least bring me popcorn so I can enjoy something."  He smiled because I didn't give up on him.  As he left, he said, "You are weird.  What kind of popcorn?"  Kettle corn of course! 😊

If you get stuck on the behavior, you miss the opportunity to hear the child and find the possibility.  🌀