The COVID 19 pandemic has taken a toll on us all. We are all given notice to stop the very things that keep us healthy to “stay healthy”. I have expressed my discontent as I am sure most of you have in one way or another - but the biggest emotional response I have is concern.

You see, I teach coping, recovery from trauma and how to overcome adversity every single day. I encounter people at their weakest point and help them build their strength, change their perceptions and find their “happy”. What I have known for over a month is … the response people have to losing their sense of control is desperation. Desperation lends itself to increasing mental health concerns, addiction, relationship problems and crime. My schedule has been non-stop and I am adding new referrals everyday. People who have fallen into what most call anxiety and anger - but it really is lack of control.

We never have had control over government policies or officials, potential health risk or the behaviors of others. We DO have control over our thoughts, feelings and behaviors about all of these things. I recommend you spend your time with focused awareness of your present thoughts and ask if they get you closer to your feelings of control.

Gaining control of your thoughts requires an awareness - which requires a PAUSE. Noticing what is happening your body (behavior) is very important in this process. For example, if you notice your heart beating fast - PAUSE and ask yourself what is happening (to your feeling and thoughts). It looks like the picture below. Thoughts create feelings which create behaviors. This checking process gets you more aware of your habits. Then, you must work in the change process (moving from red to green). Finally, you must practice by increasing your self talk with the new language. Repeat often so you can build on this. It increases your sense of power and control over a situation. Your happiness depends on YOU, not an outside source. It’s a decision and a practice before it’s a habit and a way of life.